To Resist (Pt.1)

These past few years have been a beautiful, and at times painful, pruning of all things fruitless.  Some things were removed without my consent, later learning it was truly in my best interests.  I can’t say I did not  throw an initial fit, but thankfully, my stubborn will recedes a bit more hastily now than it has in the past.

There were also  things I removed myself from, because they no longer were aligned with the path I am on. At first, these were the easier decisions, as I was the one making them. Exercising authority over my life has been the most rewarding lesson I have put into practice theses days as my path is more clear, lately.

I am finding it easier to discern whether I am to proceed cautiously or withdraw hastily, from things within my sphere of influence. There is a saying in leadership: Hire slowly, fire quickly. Man, I have learned that lesson all too many times.

As a Team Lead, desperation forced me to hire low-performers. I set aside our standards of integrity, passion and experience level to fill severe holes within the beauty academy. My hasty decisions would usually cause the whole organization to suffer. Students became frustrated with poor leadership, educators grew disappointed from new team members who were not interested in inspiring greatness, and I would be under even greater stress trying to train and motivate a career alongside someone who really only wanted a job.

I could whine about it all I wanted, but the truth was, it was all my fault. Hello! I hired them!

I opened the door for someone to join my team, this incredible and fantastic group of inspiring leaders, and bring along with them unprofessionalism, gossip, laziness and poor communication skills. It was not until I experienced the shame of my accountability as I was the one responsible for allowing this weight to fall on my team. I had not protected all that we had worked so hard for: unity, integrity, an inspiring environment and sincere devotion to the success of our students. 

I apologized to my team. I told them I was sorry for not guarding them and the students as well as I should have. We decided, as a team, that we would much rather spread out thinner to fill some holes than hire someone who was not a right fit for us. We all took responsibility for preserving an honorable culture and maintaining a clear vision.

My family and I now do the same. We are accountable to each other for the endeavors we commit to, questioning if they align with our intentional lifestyle. We allow things to fall away that are not enriching and we say a faithful yes to invitations that enhance our family life.

Our presence is our sacred yes.


It has taken me so long to finally stand in authority with those words. To walk in full permission of saying yes or no to endeavors, events, friendships or communities in order to wholly represent who I am.

We are called, as parents, to protect and guard our family with the wisdom and discernment that comes from a spirit-filled life. As a family, we left our church community when we could no longer ignore the contradictions to Gods Word.

“Therefore, dear friends, since you alredy know this, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior,Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. ” – 2Peter 3:17,18

When we released unfruitful leadership from our life, we allowed God to be the only source of our maturing. It was when our hands were empty, that he showed us the community waiting for us. Pastors who are passionate about spiritual Fathering and releasing you into your ministry.

It was not until I completely removed my presence from an unhealthy relationship, that God lead me to Mike, my husband. His love for me surpasses all that I had ever known. Sometimes our hands have to be fully empty to be able to receive greater blessings. We must learn how to say no with our presence to be able to say yes to what God has for us.

Our presence, the only real thing that we have on this planet, is our resounding yes or a steadfast no.  We don’t need a picket sign to protest what we despise, we just need to place our presence in the area that needs support. We don’t need to argue about abortion any longer, what we need is to be available for kids who need to be adopted, to see real change. 

When mama aint happy, aint nobody happy. If relationships and commitments are not adding value into your life, or your family’s life, someone is gonna suffer. If you spread yourself out and have but only scraps left at the end of the day for those who matter most, then dear one, maybe some things need to be re-evaluated; maybe some priorities need to be re-examined.

Your presence is your yes, your Amen.  Its your green light, your heck-yah, its your Aye-Aye, captain, and more importantly, it represents you.

I wish I could say it’s that simple. The harsh reality is this:  people who love you may not always understand or agree with your decisions and at times may  respond in a cold or unloving nature. Next week I will be writing part II of the power of presence: standing our ground in confident faith and not giving in to discouragement.

Until next week, Ciao!




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Communications major. Journalist. Willing: to have the tough conversations. Living out the belief that communication strengthens connection.

5 thoughts on “To Resist (Pt.1)”

  1. I always say the same thing but I LOVE this one too! You’re always so encouraging and it always seems to be exactly what I need to hear! Keep it up and I can’t wait till next week

    1. I know you don’t struggle with this all that much, so I hope you are encouraged to remain confident in the decisions you make. I heart you SO much, Kristy.

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